Thats a Matzah Ball for all my Goyem peeps out there!
Chicago weather has been as fickle as, well Chicago Weather. Two days ago perfect, yesterday the rain was a pouring and so far today all you need is a light hoodie. With Paseh only a week away and the rain pounding down I had to brake out some old skool Vegan Kneydl.
If the Picture above is not clear, let me explain to the super-goy
what a matzah ball is, and how to make a matzah ball soup.
First can we talk Kneydl? This my friend is a big ball of matzah meal, spices and traditionally egg. But in the year 5768, we are all Vegan and use Ener-G Egg Replacer So enough about the egg already. Matzah can not be mentioned with out talking about Moses.
This guy was a Total A-Hole. Thank Juda he finally kicked it. Moses made all the jewish people walk around in the desert with sand up their hoo-hoo and wouldn’t even let the challah bread rise. Every year we remember Mr. Chuckle-Nuts and the sand in are ass, by cutting out the carbs of biblical times; leaven bread. So instead of bagels and Better then Cream Cheese. We have a 12″ x 12″ cracker with some vegan schmaltz. The Matzah Ball is a made up of ground up crumbs, because with a cracker so big what did you expect? And me waste, never.
Second part, Oy Vey. This is going on to long. Soup. The second part is chicken soup with a nosh of carrots, celery, onion, and my favorite bitter herb parsley. Very easy to make a chicken style broth. Use a TON of Poultry Seasoning when sauteing the veggies, or buy bouillion
IF i have enticed you, here is what you need and how to do it.
Kneydl Balls
-2 Boxes of Matza Meal or 1 Box of Matza Crackers Crushed to Dust. you need 3 Cups of dust.
-EnerG Egg replacer to replace the Eggs in the Matza balls
-2t poulty seasoning
-Vegtable Oil (NOT OLIVE) use Saflower or Ghetto ass blends yo
-1 1/2 tp 2 cups warm water.
You can A follow the rules on the box, or B follow how i make a nice Kneydl.
In a large bowl mix up Nine Ener-G Eggs with HOT Water, Mix in 6 TB of Oil. and beat it till frothy. If using a bouillon cup this is the time to added it.
If using poultry seasoning ( which is mainly Sage ) then sift the seasoning with the 3 Cups of matzah meal before adding to egg/oil mix.
After the Matzah and egg are all mixed up they might be a bit crumbly. Thats good. Slowly add the warm water, get your hands dirty. Feels Good right? When the Matzah is like a play-dough type consistency, roll out into balls. Big small, you think I care what you do with your life? Place the balls in the Fridge for at least 15min.
Soup
4-8 TB of Earth Balance Butter
1 HUGE White onion Diced ( or a few Medium sized Onions ) About 3 Cups when Diced
1Bulb of Galrlic peeled and minced
4 Carrots Diced
1/2 Bunch of Celery Diced (5 stalks)
1TB Salt
4 TB of Vegan Bullion (prep it with water, or use a paste)
1TB Marjorm
1TB Thyme
2t black pepper ground
4 -6 Cups Water
Dice those Veggies. Get a HUGE pot hot ( i roll with a 14qt ) then grease that sucker up with the Earth Balance. EB burns so have the Veggies prepped first. Toss the onion in, followed by the carrots, and celery. Then the salt and cover the lid for about 2 full minutes. Add the spices next, BUT NOT the Bouillon.
Stir up everything and cover for a full 3 Minutes. Remove the lid and if you have a pool of liquid under the veggies its time to add the Bouillon.
the longer you simmer the stronger it gets. that means cover it up and wait at least 10 minutes. I like to do about a 40 minute simmer. When you bring in the water to reconstitute the stock do it slowly. Add to much and its watered down. Too little and you’ll turn into a Mormon and move to SLC.
Water is in, so lets get a nice boil on. Turn up the stove and get those Knooydls out of the fridge. When the boil is going, drop those suckers in and close the lid. 15 minutes is plenty, but the longer you hold out the fluffier those things get.
This should take you an hour and can feed about 6 hungry Rabbi. That being said, you might want to check with your local Yeshiva if Ener-G Egg Replacer is kosher for Passover. During the week of hell on earth new and unwieldy kosher laws go into effect. Some of which include binge eating all the cereal the night before Passover so one does not have to toss out perfectly good food.
Just for the record, kosher laws and all that whoee, not my cup of tea. But you know, Tradition.
